KIPIVAFFLEStheLOLLIPOPS
by IstoleALLtheWAFFLES
Summary: It's 3am, i've eaten 30-something lollipops and am bored. READ THIS AND REVIEW OR ELSE ZIVA WILL KICK YOUR BUTT!
1. The Phantom Lollipop

**It is 3 in the morning and I've eaten 37 lollipops in the past 24 hours. I'm low on brain energy and high on sugar. So writing this story seems like a good idea. I dreamed it up yesterday. I know it's not funny, but who gives. YEP-WAFFLES JUST DESTROYED STAR WARS FOREVER.**

EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM LOLLIPOP

Tony walked into the bullpen early on a Monday morning. It was only 5:30, and he was hoping to finally beat Ziva to work. As he approached his desk, he saw that someone had left a lollipop on his desk. It was red, with a white plastic stick that looked smooth and shiny.

"Looks good, yes?" asked Ziva. Tony jumped a mile high.

"Crap! Ziva, don't scare me like that! You made me jump a mile high!"

Ziva looked confused. "How high is a mile? Is it like a kilometre?"

"Yes. Well, sort of."

"Then how did you jump so high?"

"I didn't."

"Then why did you say you did?"

"It's an idiom, Ziva"

"Oh. Sorry"

"No you're not. But you will be." A mysterious voice came from behind Ziva. She turned around and found McGee, wearing a Dracula style cape. McGee grabbed the shiny red lollipop (author does a Homer Simpson impersonation just thinking about the lollipop-*drools*) and holds it to his chest.

"My Vollypop!" cried McGee, using a really fake Romanian accent. Tony and Ziva exchanged startled glances.

"Uh….McGeek. Now is _so _not the time to get into Buffy." Said Tony.

Ziva was glaring daggers at Tim. "Give me the lollipop. Now!" she said in a dangerously low tone.

"NO!" roared McGee, before changing into a bat and dropping to the ground. He turned back into a humany-vampire type thing. "Dammit," he said. "She told vampires could turn into bats."

"You just did." Said Ziva.

"I vasn't flying very vell, vas I?" cried McGee, his Romanian accent still holding.

"McGee, vampires turn into the bats the hang upside down from trees. NOT the type of bat that you use to play baseball with." laughed Tony.

McGee grabbed the lollipop again, turned back into a bat and rolled to the elevator. Once he was inside, Tony turned back to Ziva.

"Did he just take the lollypop?"

"Yep." She replied. Before anything else could be said, a red lollipop dropped ihto her hand.

"Bloody Hell, Tony. It's a phantom lollipop!


	2. Attack Of The Lollipops

**It was Waffle's birthday the other day. WAFFLES IS 14 NOW!! YAYNESS!!! Also, Waffles does not own NCIS, Star Wars or the PowerPuff Girls. Just the sweet iPod Nano 4****th**** generation 8 GB that my adults got me.**

KIPIVAFFLES-the lollipops…..

EPISODE 2-attack of the lollipops

After Tony and Ziva recovered from the shock of McGee and a lollipop mysteriously appearing in Ziva's hand, they decided that they should go to Gibbs and the director. Cynthia's desk was empty, so they just pushed the door open and walked into the director's office. (AN: Jenny not dead. Jenny alive)

Madame Director and Gibbs were talking urgently, so Tony and Ziva thought it best to wait until they had finished their conversation before interrupting.

"Dammit Jethro! If we do that, He will escape." The director was saying, "That is not an option."

"No, Jen, if we send in the red ones, he wont have a chance." Replied Gibbs. Tony and Ziva walked forward slowly, trying to see what was on the maps. The red what?

"But he can counter strike them with the green ones!" cried Jenny. Tony and Ziva could see the desk now. On it was a map of the DC downtown and several different coloured lollipops. It was a lollipop attack? Gibbs and Jenny noticed Tony and Ziva and glared at them.

"Watcha doin', Bosses?" asked Tony

"Formulating a counter attack program in case the Galactic Empire attacks Washington." Replied Jenny, in a 'would you like fries with that?' type voice. Cynthia walked in the door and sat down next to Gibbs.

"Using lollipops?" asked Ziva.

"Yep." Answered Gibbs.

Just then, Jenny's phone rang. She answered it, looking very scared.

"That was the mayor," said Jenny, trying very hard not to panic, "several giant lollipops are attacking the city." Upon hearing this, Cynthia leaped off the couch and jumped out the window.

"Powerpuff Girls to the rescue!" she screamed before zooming off into the sky. The ground started shaking, and a giant red lollipop the size of the Empire state building fell over, crushing Wall Street. (AN: I'm 14 and I live in Sydney, Australia. I have no idea where Wall Street is, so now it's in DC)

Ziva and Tony exchanged startled glances.

"Lets go and see Abby"


	3. Revenge Of The Lollipops

**Christmas pressie for you all: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Remember to REVIEW and vote in the poll on my homepage. Only 3 people have voted so far.**

KIPIVAFFLES the Lollipops….

EPISODE 3: Revenge of the Lollipops

Tony and Ziva rushed out of the elevator, hurrying to get to Abby's lab. When they got there, Abby was thrashing to screamo/heavy metal music.

"Well at least Abby seems normal!" Tony shouted to Ziva. Even though she was standing next to him, Ziva couldn't hear him.

"What did you say?" she screamed back

"I said 'WELL AT LEAST ABBY SEEMS NORMAL!'" Tony had to bellow directly into her ear in order to be heard. Abby finally noticed them and turned down her music.

"Good news guys! I got the latest Brain Matter CD today!"

"We can hear that." Replied Ziva. Abby took a sip of Caf-Pow. When she put the tub down, fell off the edge of the counter. Abby slipped in the drink and knocked herself unconscious.

"ABBY!" they both cried at the same time. She sat up a few seconds later, blinking and rubbing her head.

"Tony? Ziva? Help me up, please."

Tony and Ziva pulled Abby to her feet. She looked at her outfit.

"Why am I dressed like an emo?" she asked

"Abby, you ok?"

"I will be as soon as I change into some decent clothes."

With that, she ran to the small wardrobe in the corner and grabbed the pink court suit from it. She walked to the elevator, Ziva on her heels.

"Where you going, Abbs?" asked Tony, following the women as they left the elevator and ran into the bathroom. He waited outside while Ziva tried to talk to Abby.

"Abby! What's wrong?" Ziva tried to get Abby to talk to her. Abby slammed the cubicle door in her face. When she came out, Abby washed off her make-up and re-applied it carefully, making herself look like a doll. She toddled out of the washrooms and back to Tony.

"Ok Tony. I look presentable now." Abby waited for a response. Tony just stared at her, taking in the baby pink suit, hot pink designer heels and wavy hair.

"Oh my God!" he said, more than slightly alarmed. "I just found career girl Barbie!"

Abby smiled and went back to her lab. When Tony and Ziva got there, they found her running around the lab, dancing to 'Sunshine' and 'Love is all around."

"Something is definitely going on here." Said Tony.

"What gave you that idea?" asked Ziva sarcastically. "Was it the fact that McGee is a Vampire-Baseball Bat, that Cynthia is a power puff girl fighting giant lollipops, or that Abby is dressed like a Barbie doll and is dancing to Ricki-Lee Coulter?"

"No. Have you heard?" Tony asks. "That lawyer, Ron Fornasier is screwing Bella from MTAC. I mean, what the hell? She is way out off his league!"

Meanwhile, in a giant cave nearby, there is a giant red lollipop sitting in front of a giant crystal ball watching everything that Tony and Ziva do.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" laughed the lollipop. "All is going to plan. Soon, I, Frederick Pumpernickel Jolie the III, 7th child of Brangelina, shall get my revenge.

**Yeah, I know it's not funny, but hey. I'm random like that. Now click that pretty button. You know the one. It says 'review'.**


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